I hope not, but I have learned to be truthful and realistic. What have you discovered about why the affair happened? The steps of progression are not universal or the same for everyone. You may resent how often you are being interrogated. I feel that I have no guarantees about my future although I have come to understand and I do trust my husband again.
You will never again be able to know that since your marriage you are the only one your husband has ever been with. I have become a much stronger, happier and more fulfilled individual. Learning all the lurid stuff may become the images for flashbacks later. At 2 years I recommitted myself to the marriage. There are opportunities for you in this miserable, painful, difficult journey you are being FORCED the childbirth analogy to walk through right now. Intensity of feelings can best be dealt with when you have had good sleep, eaten well, exercised. Experts generally agree this is a minimum time period for a couple to be completely healed. I am very happy in my marriage, but I no longer NEED my marriage, which has enhanced my marriage tremendously. Such as in the case of a spouse who decides to betray their marriage partner. Naturally, your partner will fear that each new disclosure will be just enough to make you leave for sure. What were you thinking? There are 2 types of change that take place in our lives. As if it was all up to me! Your willingness to seek therapy will help you make sense of what happened. Also, your concept of a relationship may be a factor in how you weather infidelity. They were the ones who had found our help early in the process. I am cheering for you like you are a marathon runner in a long race. Nobody else can do your job quite the way you do. When your partner begins to trust you with the undigested hurt, your simply being present and appreciating will make the difference. As we looked we found a common denominator among the couples who were healing more quickly than others. One thing to consider is whether the affair was an isolated incident or part of a pattern. Neither is it smart to think that you can solve every thing and heal the marriage while you are in this heightened emotional state. Plan to set aside significant time to address the issues and be willing to face enormous mood swings in your work together. What we know with certainty is that it is not the same. He says he never will.
Video about what to expect after an affair:
Find Healing After the Affair with Dr. Janis Spring
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